


What Will Be

by Stoneya88



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fate & Destiny, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Parenthood, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-02-26 01:26:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13225284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoneya88/pseuds/Stoneya88
Summary: A surprise visitor appears to help bring Rey and Ben back to each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've reworked this after seeing the glorious Reylo film The Last Jedi! :)  
> ENJOY!

 

Rey gritted her teeth in frustration.   That kriffing song was back in her head.  She didn’t know its name, had never heard it prior to the last few weeks when it had mysteriously floated into her skull and then came back often to vex her…

 It wasn’t a terrible song.  It was just that it was always there, lurking in the dark recesses of her brain, waiting to resurface… Soft and gentle like a lullaby…but she only knew the melody.   Perhaps her poor excuse of a mother had sung it to her when she was small?  With recent traumatic events, maybe sub consciously it had re-emerged to torment her?  Just when the thought brought the sting of tears to her eyes, she perished it.  What kind of woman would sing to her child a sweet song like this one, and then abandon her for something as minor as drinking money?

“You’re nothing.”   Ah, there it was again.  Whenever the song wasn’t playing in a loop in her tired brain, she heard the painful declaration from a man she was sure she was falling –

NO, REY.  She chastised herself.  Don’t think about him.  It’s over, it’s finished, there’s nothing there any more.  Let it go….

She huffed out an exasperated breath and straightened her back.  With Luke gone, she needed to train herself.   When she wasn’t poring over the ancient Jedi texts she had secreted away in the Falcon, she would meditate or hone her fighting skills.  She knew the day would come, most likely sooner rather than later, that she would have to face him again.  She needed to be ready for him. 

The idea sent a sharp pain through her heart.  Their force bond had quieted since she had seen him kneeling in front of her on Crait.  But he was still there.  Her nightmares were full of images of him piercing her chest with that vicious sabre of his, and vice versa.  She would ram her weapon into his heart, only to watch him look up at her with love in those soulful dark eyes, before they closed forever.  She would wake up in tears, covered in sweat, and full of sadness and regret. 

Then there were the dreams.  Much different than the nightmares of killing him.  They always started the same, with them locked in battle, but diverted into something much more satisfying.  With hands and lips desperately moving against each other, and when her eyes snapped open she was still drenched, but with an ache between her thighs and a flare of frustration so fierce she had ripped holes in her sheets.

Stupid stubborn man baby, she thought hatefully.  If only he had abandoned his ridiculous cause, then maybe he’d be here with me right now and instead of running my fingers over old lines of text, I’d be running them over those godly muscles and –

NO, REY.  She growled at herself.  She focused her eyes back on the page, and forced them to absorb the information.  Just as she was finally settling into a deep concentration, she heard the song again.  But instead of the humming in her brain, it was out loud.  Her eyes widened in alarm as she turned her head to see a little girl sitting next to her, singing gently in her sweet little voice.  She was sitting cross legged on the chair, drawing a picture, and humming happily as if she had no cares in the world. 

Transfixed, Rey drank in the sight of her.  Her tiny head was crowned with silky dark curls, her adorable little nose was covered in freckles that continued their constellation onto her ivory cheeks.  When she finally noticed Rey looking, she stared back at her with wide, bright hazel eyes like her own, and giant smile spread across her mouth. 

“Hi, Mommy!” she cried, happily.  “Whatcha readin’?”

Rey eyes nearly popped out of her head, and her mouth dropped open.  “W-w-what did you call me?” she stuttered, her heart racing fast.

The little girl giggled.  “What?  Mommy? That’s your name, silly!” She giggled again and shook her head.  “Well, it’s not your name!  Your name is Rey, but I call you Mommy.”

Rey tried to control her breathing.  Had Finn and Poe played a trick on her at breakfast?  Had they slipped an hallucinogenic drug in her coffee?  This pretty little girl in front her looked extremely real, but it was impossible...

I must be exhausted, Rey thought, shaking her head and rubbing her eyes.  All those dreams and nightmares can’t be good for me. 

She poked the little girl hard on the arm, but was shocked to see that she felt extremely solid.  The harsh gesture caused tears to well in her eyes, and she whimpered.

“Ouch, Mommy!  Why did you do that?!” Her whimpers dissolved into tears and she wept angrily.  The severe emotion on her face caused a pang of recognition to rise in Rey, but she couldn’t place it….

“I’m sorry!” she replied, rubbing the spot where she’d jabbed, trying to soothe the pain.  “I was just checking to make sure you were real!”

That only seemed to make it worse.  The little girl cried harder.  “Why wouldn’t I be real?” she sobbed.

Rey had never felt so useless.  She wasn’t sure how to comfort someone…Instinctively, she reached out and wrapped her arms around the tiny creature who nestled into her as though she’d done it a thousand times before. 

She’s mine, a voice whispered inside of Rey, and she knew in her heart that it was true. 

“I’m so sorry,” she repeated, burying her face in her daughter’s thick dark hair.  “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s okay, Mommy,” the girl whispered, leaning against her as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  Rey was surprised to find that it did feel extremely normal.  As though she was meant to be this child’s mother.  It was amazing, to feel this kind of love.  She had been alone for so long, and with B -- Kylo Ren -- gone from her life, she felt like her debilitating loneliness was to be a life long sentence.  But now this beautiful child held onto her so tightly, and Rey never wanted to let her go.

She had a million questions for this tiny thing.  But in the moment, she felt it was best to keep her calm and not upset her again.  While she cradled the child in her arms, she turned to look at the drawing she had done.

“This is lovely!” she praised.  In the drawing there were three figures.  She pointed to the littlest one.

“Is that you?” she asked, and the child nodded eagerly. 

  
“Yes, that’s me, Espé.”

“Espé?” Rey questioned.

“Yes, it means ‘Hope’, Mommy.” She turned to Rey, furrowing her eyebrows in frustration and again she reminded Rey of someone…

“Of course, sorry!” Rey replied, pointing to the next figure to distract Espé.  “And this is me, I assume?”  The figure had brown hair and was wearing an outfit similar to that which she was currently wearing. 

Espé nodded again, and Rey slid her finger to the last figure in the picture.  It was a figure taller than hers, wearing all dark colours, with a mop of black hair.   Even with rudimentary artistic rendering, Rey could tell who the figure was.  She suddenly felt sick to her stomach.  She choked out the question anyways.

“And who’s that?” she croaked.

Espé gave her an exasperated look, and finally Rey clued in to the resemblance. 

“It’s Daddy!”


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the amazing reception to this fic!  I will try to keep the updates as regular as possible!

 

 

Rey had left Espé in her room with her pencils and promised she would be right back.  She sprinted through the abandoned compound where the Resistance now hid, looking for Leia.  She had no idea how she was going to explain the unusual turn of events, but she needed to talk to the older woman immediately. 

“Whoa!  Where’s the fire Jedi?” Rey had turned a corner and almost ran right into Poe Dameron.  Ever since he had seen her move the rocks blocking their escape, Poe had tacked on the nickname.  Rey wasn’t sure if she liked it or not, but from what she learned from the texts, Jedi were meant to be celibate.  If the mirage of her little daughter was in fact real, Rey had deduced that she had not been living a pious lifestyle. 

She was trying hard not to go there.  If she was in fact Espé’s mother, and Ben was her father, then that meant that somehow, they had been intimate.  A fiery blush rose on her cheeks just thinking about the possibility, and she desperately turned her attention back to Poe.

“Where is General Organa?” she demanded.  Poe raised his eyebrows at the abrupt exchange, clearly concerned by Rey’s unusual rudeness. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked.  At his feet, BB8 let out an inquisitive beep.   Rey tried to smile reassuringly, but there was a little girl waiting for her, and she didn’t want to waste any time.

“It’s fine, I just need to speak with her.  It’s –um—a female…. problem….” She didn’t need to elaborate any further.  Poe’s eyes widened, and he point down the corridor.

“Down there,” he replied, meekly.  If Rey hadn’t been so distracted, she would’ve teased the brave commander, who willingly flew into the face of death on a regular basis, about his clear terror towards the subject.

She thanked him and headed towards the general’s command centre.  There, Leia sat, looking at various reports, only half listening to C-3PO’s concerned monologue about statistics.  She looked anxious and tired, and Rey felt a stab of guilt adding another concern on top of the already giant stack of worries that plagued the woman. 

“Rey, are you all right?” she asked, when she saw Rey approaching, sweaty and out of breath.

“I’m so sorry, General…but I need you to come with me right away.”

Leia’s brow furrowed in worry but she rose without another word.  She walked slowly, still using the cane for assistance, and it took all of Rey’s patience to not sigh in frustration.  She knew she couldn’t help it, but Force, they really needed to deal with the situation NOW.

After what seemed like an eternity, the reached the door of Rey’s quarters.  She took a deep breath and turned to the woman.

“I know this is going to be a shock to you,” she started, “but if you could keep an open mind…”

“About what, my dear?” Leia questioned.  Rey opened the door and there was little Espé, right where she had left her.  She was humming the song again, and Rey’s heart swelled with love.  How could this perfect thing be hers?

Leia gasped, clutching a hand to her heart.  Rey grasped her gently, steadying the older woman. 

“That song!” Leia murmured.  “I haven’t heard it in so long…. I used to sing it to Ben.” 

 

 

 

 

 

In some ways, Ben thought maybe he’d done a service to Snoke by slicing him in half.  If being Supreme Leader was always this tedious, perhaps he was putting the wretched thing out of his misery…

He tried to focus on Hux’s dull droning, but it was hard when an old lullaby his mother sang to him as a baby kept floating into his head.  He hadn’t heard it in over twenty years, had forgotten about it, and yet recently he couldn’t rid himself of it.  Whenever his mind wandered, there it was. 

 Was this some kind of cruel joke the Force was playing on him?  Taunting him, needling him about a woman who he couldn’t find it within himself to kill.  _You’re weak…._ it reminded him.  _Here you are, the leader of the entire galaxy, and you’re humming a song your mother sang to you as an infant.  Pathetic child._

Ben’s fist clenched, and he tensed his jaw.  Next time, he told himself.  Next time, you’ll do it.   And the scavenger, too.  Don’t you dare think her name….

But that was an impossible command.  He was almost entirely consumed by thoughts of Rey.  He had been having dreams.  Lots of dreams, or were they nightmares?  Some were horrific, where they always ending with one of them killing the other.  Whenever he was the victor, he would hold her small frame in his arms and weep with regret.  It never felt triumphant to watch the life leave her body. 

Then there were others…where she was under him, or on top of him, with him buried deep inside of her, the sighs, the gasps, the moans.  Grasping fingers and soft lips.   They felt so real, and when he would wake up, he would shamefully pleasure himself, thinking of her.   At least he didn’t have Snoke in his head anymore, disgusted at him for fulfilling these base desires.  Ever since Rey had crashed into his life, he had practically regressed back to adolescence, stroking his cock several times a day and imagining her hand, or mouth, or tight heat around him.   It was probably for the best that their bond seemed to be permanently closed off, because he couldn’t imagine she would be receptive to connecting while he was furiously jerking himself off, gasping out her name.

Kriff, he thought, as he felt himself harden.  This was hardly the place for his arousal to make itself known.  He hardly cut an impressive figure with a giant erection tenting his trousers.  He tried to calm himself.

“Supreme Leader!” Hux’s irritating voice rang out.  Oh, never mind, Ben thought...all it took was for that snivelly little rat’s stupid ginger face frowning at him to do the trick.  Immediately, he deflated.

“Are you listening?” he asked snidely, and Ben restrained himself from choking the life out of him. 

“Of course, General,” he responded back with equal venom.  “How could I not, when this discussion is so riveting?”

Hux clenched his jaw, but refrained from any further comment, and Ben smirked triumphantly.   There were some perks to the job, he admitted begrudgingly.  One was watching Hux force himself to accept this new leadership.  Ben knew Hux thought it should be the other way around, that he hated answering to him, but there was nothing the sycophantic redhead could do about it. 

He relaxed his face into an expression that he hoped resembled a man who was interested in what his second in command had to say.  Just as he was actually starting to engage in the discussion of their plans, he heard her.

 _Ben,_ Rey whispered in his head.  _I need to see you._


	3. Chapter 3

Rey couldn’t blame Leia for the shocked look on her face, especially when Espé turned to greet her enthusiastically, but she had to admit, she was extremely relieved that Leia could see her too.   Now she knew she wasn’t going completely insane.

“How?” Leia gasped, turning to look at Rey.

“Believe me, I’m as stunned as you are,” Rey supplied.  “But, as crazy as it sounds, I know she’s mine.  I can feel it inside me.  It’s like I’ve always known her.”

“And she’s Ben’s too?” Leia asked, and the hopeful tone in her voice made Rey’s heart ache.  “She is absolutely beautiful, Rey.”

Rey had to agree.  Her and Ben had made a gorgeous child together.  It made her feel a variation of emotions.   She was so confused, and terrified, but she was also as hopeful as Leia.   She had been so alone for as long as she could remember…did this mean that she finally had a family?   Was Ben going to reject the darkness within him and find his way back to her?  She couldn’t really believe it, but was this the proof sitting right in front of her?

 She made sure Espé wasn’t paying attention, but she lowered her voice anyways.  “I don’t know how exactly…why…when…or any of that…the last time I saw him, it seemed pretty clear what his intentions would be in the future.  The fact that we have a child together is hard for me to wrap my head around.  If he had come home with me, then maybe one day it would’ve happened, but as it stands now, I’m fairly certain he wants me dead.”

Before Rey had gone to find Leia, Espé had to remind her in an irritated tone that she was five years old.  A lot could happen in five years…

“So a future apparition of your child has come here…but we have no idea why…or even how she came to exist in the first place…” Leia looked like she needed to sleep for days, just trying to understand the situation.

“Well, I mean, we know how…” Rey broke off, blushing furiously.  “It’s just – how is it that Ben and I – you know, um, came to such a truce?”  She blushed harder, if that was even possible.

Leia smirked, knowingly. “Well, if he’s anything like his father –”

“What do we do?” Rey interrupted, frantically trying to stop that unbearable line of discussion.  “Do I tell him?  Or do I figure out what’s going on first?”

Leia shrugged.  “I don’t think there are proper guidelines for this type of situation…”

Rey sighed in frustration. “I suppose he will have to find out some time.  I just wish I knew why this was happening.  This has to be the strangest thing anyone has ever gone through.  I don’t want to scare her, or cause her any worry.  I think for now we should just carry on as if everything’s all right until we figure something out.  Oh Force, what is everyone going to think?”

“Don’t worry about that right now.  We will get to the bottom of this together,” Leia said, consoling her.  “Now, would it be all right with you if I spend some time with my granddaughter?”

 

 

 

Ben abruptly stood and bolted from the discussion he was having with Hux, despite the man’s protests ringing out behind him.  Was it really her?  He had assumed she would never want to interact with him ever again, or at least not in a passive way.  Her voice had been so soft just a few moments ago.  Was it possible that she was changing her mind?

His heart rate sped up.  Was Rey finally going to come to him and be his Empress? Would he finally have her next to him?  Would he wake every morning holding her against him?

He practically sprinted to his private quarters, trying to compose himself before he reached out to her.  He closed his eyes and drew a few deep, calming breathes.  When he opened them again, she was sitting across the table from him. 

“Rey,” he breathed out, as if praying to his own personal goddess.  His eyes drank in the sight of her.  She was so beautiful, but her dark eyes were full of sadness.  His hand slid across the table towards hers, but she quickly pulled away, folding them in her lap. 

“We need to meet,” Rey told him, “just you and I.  Peacefully, if you can handle that?”

“Why?” he demanded, disappointed by her physical withdrawal from him. 

“I will explain everything when I see you in person.  Will you agree to a momentary armistice?”

Ben stared at her for a long moment, trying to figure out what she could possibly want, but she had strong walls up around her thoughts.  Despite his annoyance, he was impressed.

“You’re getting stronger…” he supplied.  “But you’re keeping something from me…”

“Please, just meet me, and make sure you’re untraceable.  I give you my word that I will be.”

Ben found it hard to believe that she would trust him to keep up his end of the deal.  Whatever she had to tell him, it must be of great importance.  Again, he felt a flare of hope that she was going to return with him.  It would make sense as to why she would be so willing to be alone with him, somewhere away from her precious Resistance. 

But what if this was all a trick, and she was using his weakness for her against him?  He had an image of himself being cornered by the traitor and that insufferable pilot, all because he was smitten for this pretty little warrior.

“Fine,” he agreed.  “But if this is some sort of trap…”

He saw a spasm of pain flicker across her face.  “I swear to you, you will want to hear what I have to say.  Just please tell me that you won’t hurt me…I’m taking a great personal risk in trusting you so that I can tell you what you need to know.”

His eyebrow shot up, and he removed his glove, extending his hand towards hers for a handshake.  Any excuse to feel her skin against hers, and if she wanted his trust, now she had no choice but to touch him.   “I give you my word, Rey.  This better be good.”

Rey willing placed her hand in his, gripping it tightly, and stared deeply into his eyes.  “It’s life changing…”


	4. Chapter 4

 

Rey nervously rearranged her hair for what seemed to be the thousandth time, as she tried to wait patiently for Ben’s personal ship to enter the airspace.  She had chosen Ahch-To as their meeting place, deciding that it was a fitting spot since that was were they had initially found common ground. 

And where you saw his bare chest, her brain reminded her.  _SHUT IT, YOU._

She had left Espé with Leia, who had happily assumed the responsibility as General Babysitter.  She had wanted to bring the child with her, but knew the decision would be a poor one.  What if Ben lost his temper at the revelation?  What if he broke his vow and harmed her?  What would become of her precious little girl?

She looked anxiously back at the Falcon.  It wasn’t too late to change her mind.  Ben hadn’t arrived yet.  She could tell him through their Bond, and not have to see him face to face…it was tempting…

As if on cue, and always in dramatic fashion, his fighter pierced through the clouds, and her heart rate sped up exponentially. 

Oh Force, she prayed.  Please let this be all right….

She sat down on a rock, trying to look an equal mix of passive but brave.  Ben descended from the ship, and Rey fought against the violent urge to throw up at his feet.  That would surely sour the meeting right from the get go.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here, and alone,” Ben remarked, snarky as ever. 

“Why?  I was the one who asked you, remember? Also, I seem to recall promising you that I wouldn’t bring any guests.” Rey couldn’t help but snap back, her hands clenching around the rock beneath her.  Damn this stupid man, and his ability to get her going.   _KEEP CALM._

Ben’s eyes narrowed, and he widened his stance.  Bad sign, Rey knew.  It was a sure sign he was readying for a fight.  “I’ve learned the hard way that you can be quite the manipulator…”  His mind flashed back to their exchange in the elevator.  Her soft tones, her doe eyes looking up at him after she had gazed longingly at his mouth.  All petty little tricks, it seemed. 

Rey tightened her jaw, and breathed deeply.  “Then why are you here if you were so certain I would deceive you?”

The anger flashed in his eyes, and he held out the hilt of his saber.  “Maybe I’m here to finish this once and for all.”

Rey stood and slowly approached him.  The anger was gone from her face, and all that was remained was sadness.  Ben’s hand gripped the hilt tightly, as if to ward her off, but she kept moving towards him.  She didn’t stop until her throat was pressed up against his weapon, and he almost gasped in shock. 

“Do it,” she said, softly, gazing up at him. 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry…can you explain this to me again?” Poe had never been so baffled in his life.  When he had walked into the General’s quarters with his two friends, he was surprised to see a little girl with her.  One who he had never seen before, but who seemed completely comfortable with the woman. She was eating something very messy because her face was coated in some kind of red gelatinous substance, although she didn’t seem to mind.  Her sticky face widened in a smile when she saw the three approaching, as if she knew them as well as she seemed to know the General.

Apparently, according to General Organa, she had materialized out of nowhere, but she looked and felt extremely real.  Nobody had any idea how this had happened, but here she was. 

“You’re telling me that this is the daughter of Kylo Ren?”  He turned to look at Finn and Rose, who looked just as astonished as he did.

“Who’s Kylo Ren?” Espé asked, with a mouthful of food.

Leia looked sternly at Poe, and ushered them away from the child.  “No, that’s not what I’m telling you,” she whispered, ferociously.  “I’m telling you that this is the daughter of my son Ben Solo and our beloved friend, Rey.”

“So, Rey let Ky-Ben, touch her at some point in the future?  I’m sorry General, but is she completely insane?”

Leia couldn’t fault him for being disgusted.  The last time they had seen her son, he was launching an extremely aggressive attack on all of them on Crait.  Not to mention the expansive list of all his other transgressions.  The thought that Rey would procreate with such a beast was probably hurting all their brains at the moment.

“Look, like I said, Rey and I don’t know why she’s here or how this is even happening at all.  Everyone is confused, but as long as she’s with us, we are all going to pretend like everything is fine.  All this little girl knows is that she has two parents who love her, and we are going to keep it that way!”

Three pairs of eyes widened at the strictness of her tone.  “Yes, Ma’am,” Finn choked out.  He hesitated for a moment, but then mustered up the courage.

“Can I talk to her?”

“As long as you adhere to what I just said…”

Finn nodded adamantly, and then approached the little girl.  “Hi Espé,” he said.  “Can I sit?”

“Sure, Finn,” Espé replied, graciously. 

Finn couldn’t help but feel delighted.  “Oh!  So, you know who I am?”

Espé laughed as though it was obvious.  “Yeah, you’re Mommy’s best pal!”

Finn’s fascination grew.  She did look like Rey a lot, but her skin was lighter, and her hair was darker.  Guess she inherited those traits from her jerk of a dad, Finn thought.  Really, Rey?  That guy?  But he shoved those thoughts out of his head.  She _was_ really cute, and he found himself charmed by the precocious little tot.

“And what about your Daddy?” Finn continued. 

“You’re his friend, too,” Espé told him, casually.  She clearly didn’t realize that this particular statement was as foreign to Finn as any he had ever heard.  He exchanged glances with Poe, who shrugged.

Espé giggled. “You guys even have a nickname for each other – Traitor!”

The four adults stared at each other in shock.  Espé just went back to eating enthusiastically.

“Why is everyone asking me so many questions, all of a sudden?”

 

 

Thank you so much for comments and kudos!  It’s helping me write faster!


	5. Chapter 5

          _I’ll destroy her_.  Ben remembered saying it to his uncle.  Rey had ripped his heart out of his chest after she had left him lying unconscious in the throne room, and the gaping hole inside of him had been throbbing with the pain of rejection and abandonment.  It had felt good to say it in the moment, when he was so furious at her.  It had made him feel powerful, when she had made him feel weak.  He would show her how little she meant to him.  He would end her, and everything she cared about if it was the last thing he would do as Supreme Leader.

          But here she was, standing in front of him, pressed against his saber.  All he had to do was press down, and it would be over forever.   He would be able to stop himself from hoping that she would come to him, telling him that she was wrong, begging for his forgiveness.  She wouldn’t exist to torment him any longer. 

          He couldn’t do it.  The thought of it made him ill, made him want to fall to his knees.  Not his Rey.  Not his tenacious little scavenger who had choked on her words when she had seen him unclothed.  Who had travelled across the galaxy to save him, staring up at him beneath the glass as if he was _her_ saviour.  Who had thrown her light sabre to him without the slightest hesitation when the Praetorian Guard had him struggling for breath. 

          If he was to kill her now, then any hope of a future together was eradicated.  However hopeless it seemed right now, there was a sliver of optimism in him.  That one day his vision would come true, and she would stand with him. 

          There was understanding in those expressive hazel eyes of hers.  A slight smile graced her lips, but she didn’t move away.  She moved closer.

          “You can’t do it,” she murmured, softly.

          “You know I can’t,” Ben answered in a low growl, before throwing the light saber aside.  He closed the gap between them, wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and seized her mouth with his. 

 

 

 

 

          When Rey had seen the green landscape of Takodana, the fluttering of her heart at the thought that there was an escape from the harsh desert reality of Jakku had been invigorating.  When she had eaten her first meal that hadn’t consisted of rations at the Resistance base on D’Qar before she had left to go find Luke, the sensation of fullness in her belly had been incredibly satisfying.  When the heavy rainfall on Ahch-To had caressed her skin, washing away the grime of her painful former life, it was divine.

          None of that compared to the feeling of Ben Solo invading her personal space.  One hand in her hair, the other on the small of her back holding her as close as possible against his incredibly solid, broad body.  It seemed impossible that a man this physically imposing should have lips this full and soft.  She had never been kissed before, had never desired doing it before this man, but now she just wanted to stand here forever, tasting him, feeling his tongue brush against hers, listening to his contented moans. 

          Deep down, she knew it was wrong.  They were enemies, on opposite sides of a war, but if they somehow had a daughter together, then they needed to start somewhere.  She had to imagine that there were many kisses in their future, amongst other things…

          The thought of her daughter hauled her back to reality.  She hadn’t come here to exchange kisses, as incredible as that experience was.  She needed to tell him.  Needed him to know how high the stakes were.

          She pulled her mouth away from his with a sigh of regret, and struggled to catch her breath.  His chest was heaving too, and his mouth was red and moist from the enthusiastic return of her kisses.  He looked unfathomably adorable for a fearsome warlord, and all she wanted in that moment was to pull him down to the ground and continue their passionate embrace.  Forget about this war, and who they were, and stay here in the grass, kissing and touching, forever. 

          “Ben,” she breathed, distancing herself from his arms.  “I didn’t come here for this.”

          A flash of hurt flickered in his dark eyes, and he wiped his mouth on the back of his glove, as though trying to erase the evidence of their kiss.

          “Of course,” he responded, bitterly.  She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.  The man’s ego was more delicate than a porg chick.

          “I need to discuss something with you,” Rey started, steeling herself for the reaction she was going to receive from the turbulent man in front of her.

          “Ah yes, this life changing knowledge you were so desperate to tell me,” Ben replied.  His tone sounded sarcastic, but he looked down at her expectantly. 

          Rey took a deep breath, and started with the day Espé had appeared in her quarters.  She told him everything about the little girl:  what she looked like, her personality, how she was Force sensitive…

Ben listened intently, with a slight frown on his face.  “So, a little girl just showed up in front of you one day?  And others can see her too?”

Rey nodded.  “Yes.  I don’t know if she’s an image of the future, or a figment of my imagination, that is somehow strong enough to be visible to others.  All I know is that she says she’s my daughter.”

Ben looked shocked.  “Your daughter?”  She saw him swallow, as though the thought was painful for him.

“I don’t understand…what’s this got to do with me?” he asked, crossing his arms against his chest.

Rey took a deep breath and ignored the nervousness inside of her.  Now or never.

“Because she’s your daughter too, Ben.”

He stared at her for a long moment, utterly speechless.  She felt him brush against her mind, searching for her intent.  She watched as the expression in his eyes turned from surprised to furious.

“Liar,” he stated simply, rage lacing his voice.

Rey’s heart dropped. “Wh-what?” she gasped.

He stepped closer to her, and in his anger, he seemed to tower over her more than usual. 

“You are a liar,” he said, again.  His voice was deadly soft, but his eyes were full of hatred.

“No, Ben, why would I make this up?”  She felt tears well in her eyes.  His kisses had been so full of passion and affection.  She had hoped he would welcome the news, but he was livid.

“You’re trying to sway me,” he spat, bending to pick up his saber from the grass.  Rey quickly moved her hand to her own weapon.

“Ben, I swear, search my mind if you must.  I’m telling the truth!”

“It’s a trick!  You mean to weaken my resolve, to destroy the First Order this way.  You and your filthy Resistance friends thought this would be the perfect way to do it!  You told them all about how I held my hand out, begged pathetically for you to join me.  I bet they all laughed!”

Rey couldn’t hold her sobs in any longer.  She couldn’t believe her stupidity.  Here she was again, crying her heart out in front of him, hoping he would take her side.  How could she possibly think that Ben Solo would be joyful about their potential future child?  This man in front of her was Kylo Ren.  She didn’t need any more proof. 

“You don’t deserve her,” Rey told him, her voice trembling.  “You don’t deserve us!”

Ben backed away from her.    “I’ll let you go this time, Scavenger, since I gave you my word.  Next time, be ready for a fight that you won’t win.”

Rey was certain she felt her heart shatter inside her.  She watched as he stalked away from her, and fell to her knees, breathing heavily in panic.  She had failed Espé.  Would she even still be there when Rey returned?    

          _I’m so sorry, my darling._


	6. Chapter 6

          It took every ounce of self control for Ben not to slash his light saber across the console of his ship.  He wanted to so badly, to release his pent-up rage and frustration, but it wouldn’t do him any good getting himself stranded on this wretched island.   He could just see Hux’s look of disdain if he needed to call for a pick-up, and even worse, how was he supposed to explain what he was even doing there in the first place?

          It’s her fault, he reminded himself.  She made him feel this way, again and again.  The list of grievances towards the scavenger seemed to get longer with every day she breathed life.  He could’ve put a stop to it right then and there, so why hadn’t he?

          Because she’s a trickster, he answered.  She manipulates you so she can outrun you.  She knows how to survive, how to be scrappy and deceitful.  She had kissed him back in his moment of weakness, and used her soft, sweet lips and tongue to put a stopper in his building aggression.  She had called him a snake, but it was her who slithered around, getting what she wanted or needed by lying to others.  She had compelled him to murder his master after all, and where had that gotten him?  In a position he didn’t really enjoy, and he was without her, his other half. 

          And now she had the audacity to tell him that they had a child together. That some Force child of theirs from the future had showed up out of nowhere, and he was expected to believe that nonsense?  He would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so incredibly angry at her dishonesty. 

          Next time, he promised himself.  Next time, she’s going to pay.  I’ll show her how little sway she has over me.  I’ll ignore those beautiful, pleading eyes and I’ll close them once and for all.  This latest prank was her last.  No longer would he be enslaved by his feelings for the dirty little scavenger from Jakku…

          He busied himself with the preparation to take off from the island, setting his flight plan and adjusting his seat, but the nagging seed of doubt inside him bloomed anyways.

          What if she’s telling the truth? He wondered, trying to ignore his trembling hands as he turned dials and pressed buttons.  Could it be possible that the Force was trying to send them, or more importantly, him a message?  Crazier things had happened, for certain.  Had he and Rey somehow reconciled at some point in the future, and had a child together?  It was too perfect an idea for him to indulge…he couldn’t bring himself to hope that Rey would ever want a child with him, or even allow him to touch her in the way that lead to babies being conceived at all. 

          She did kiss you back, though.  His brain helpfully conjured up the sensations that he had felt while holding her in his arms.  It felt incredibly right, having her against him, her lips pressed ardently against his.  What if she hadn’t pulled away?  Would they be stripping off each other’s clothes and making love right there in the grass?  Would she be coming to him in a few months with news that she was indeed pregnant?  He felt light glowing inside of him at the thought of her with a swollen belly, looking up at him with love in her eyes as he felt their child (their daughter?) move within her.  Never in his life had he thought of having his own family, not with the turmoil of his youth and the relationship he had with his own parents….and there had never been anyone he would’ve wanted to share such a blessing with.  Well, not until a certain obstinate little sand dweller had barrelled her way into his life and cut his face in half, only to cause further upheaval from there, filling him with lust and desire and a whole range of emotions he had never felt before.   It did seem fitting that she would be the one to give him a child….

Had he made a huge mistake?

          He closed his eyes against the tears that welled there, and lifted off from the ground, flying away from the cursed place as fast as he could.  NO. DO NOT GO THERE.  SHE’S A LIAR. 

 

 

 

 

 

          Leia knew when she saw Rey’s tear stained face that things had not gone well.  The poor girl looked like she had been through hell when she arrived back at the base.  Her eyes were full of sorrow and her shoulders slumped.  Leia immediately opened her arms to her, and Rey didn’t hesitate to fall into her comforting embrace.

          “He didn’t believe me,” she whispered against Leia’s shoulder, her body shaking with her sobs.  “He told me I was a liar, and that next time he saw me, I should be prepared for death!”

          Leia held her tighter.  “You poor thing,” she soothed.

          “I should’ve known.  I didn’t want to accept that he was truly gone, because I was falling in love with him, but it doesn’t matter.  He hates me, and he fully rejects any thought of having a family with me.”

          “I’m sorry Rey,” Leia offered.  “At least we know now…”

          “But I wanted it,” Rey admitted.  “I really wanted it, him, Espé, all of it.”

          Thought of her daughter caused her stomach to churn in panic. “Is she still here?”

          Leia gave her a small, sad smile and pointed to her seating area.  There was her little girl, sitting in Chewie’s lap, brushing his hair with a small comb.  The Wookie looked like he was barely tolerating it, but just like everyone else, was so completely beguiled by the small creature, that he just couldn’t help himself.

          Rey let out a strangled laugh, and covered her mouth.  “I thought maybe she would disappear once he rejected me. What am I supposed to do with her now?”

          Leia shook her head.  “I don’t know how to answer that, but if I were you, I would spend as much time with her as I possibly could.  One of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t give Ben enough of my time, and then I sent him away.  Who knows what would have happened if I’d been around more?”

          A new flow of tears ran down Rey’s cheeks as she watched her daughter cuddle the Wookie.  “But how can I look her in the eyes when I know that one day she’ll just up and disappear?”

Leia grasped Rey’s arms, and held her tightly.  “Just love her, Rey.  We still don’t know why she’s even here. Sometimes the biggest questions only get answers when the universe is ready to grant them,”

The two women watched the pair fondly, and Leia let out a small chuckle.  “Who knows?  Maybe she’ll figure out a way on her own…They played three rounds of cards earlier, and she beat him every time.  She certainly is persistent.  She’s a lot like you, Rey.”

            “Yeah, I’m persistent all right,” Rey agreed.  “To a fault.”


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for all the comments and kudos!  Here’s a steamy little interlude for you! ;)

 

 

Ben’s eyes snapped open.  There seemed to be something jabbing into his ribs, and when he rolled over in confusion, he saw a little face inches away from his own.  There was a toddler in his bed. 

He almost yelped in surprise.  The last time he had slept next to someone, he was a child himself, and he had climbed into his mother’s bed after a particularly frightening dream, retreating to her arms to pacify the terror he had felt in the darkness. 

          Now there was a little girl fast asleep next to him, burrowed into his side, her dainty toes nestled under him.  He had to admit, despite the intrusion, she was adorable.  She had head full of thick, dark curls much like his own hair had been when he was a boy, a tiny button nose and a rosebud mouth.  She wore a pink nightgown and had a smattering of freckles across her nose that reminded him a lot of –

          When he looked past the slumbering child, his heart sped up in shock.  There was his woman, sleeping on the other side of the girl, her hand resting against the girl’s belly, holding her close.   He noticed a silver band around her ring finger, that he immediately recognized as his mother’s.

          “Rey?” he whispered, choked up by the impossible scene before him.  She furrowed her brow at the sound, and slowly opened sleep heavy eyes to look at him.  The look of adoration in her eyes when she saw him took his breath away.

          “Hmmm?” she questioned, and being disrupted by the exchange, the tiny body between them stirred and sighed.  When her eyes opened, they were the same gorgeous hazel shade as Rey’s.  He would know that colour anywhere.

          “Good morning, Daddy,” she murmured, throwing an arm across his chest, which only made it about halfway around him. 

          _Daddy?_ The term jolted him awake fully.  This was the little girl that Rey had said was their daughter.  She fit the description perfectly, and Rey had said her name was –

          “Espé, why don’t you go see if any of our flowers have bloomed?” Rey suggested, her voice still slightly slurred from sleep.  Ben looked around and saw that he wasn’t in his bed at the First Order headquarters, but rather a spacious room decorated in white linen, with giant windows letting sun light shine across a large bed. 

          “Oh, good idea, Mommy!” At once the little girl sprang from the bed, trampling over Ben in the process.  Ben quickly put his hands across the lower half of his body, narrowly missing a kick to a rather precious area.

          Once their daughter had slammed the door behind her, Rey rolled against him and ran her hand down his torso.  “Good morning, love,” she sighed, and the sultry tone of her voice got his blood hot.

          “She nearly stepped on my –” the rest never made it out of his mouth, as he felt Rey’s small but strong hand wrap around him.

          “Seems fine to me,” she teased, before she gave him a series of lazy, open mouthed kisses while she slowly pumped him.

          Ben groaned against her lips.  This was bliss.  “Sh-she could come back any time,” he croaked, but the last thing he wanted was for her to stop.

          “Then we better be quick,” she ordered, before kissing him fully, her tongue sweeping across his.  The way she kissed him, it felt like he was being devoured, and he had never felt anything better.

          “Rey, what is this?” he asked.  Despite his lust addled brain, he knew he hadn’t gone to sleep next to her last night.   He couldn’t be dreaming though.  She felt so real beneath him, and she was so kriffing beautiful.  She was wearing a silky white slip, which clung to her in all the right places, and her hair was long and fell in waves around her breasts. 

          She looked up at him, impatiently.  “Uh, I think this is called you fucking me quickly before our daughter comes back?”  Her vulgar language mixed with her lust filled glare nearly gave him a heart attack.

          “No, I mean –”

          She snarled in annoyance.  “Ben, shut up!  Less talking, more doing.” She took his hand, and slid it up her body, under the silk of her slip.  The feel of her nipple pebbling under his palm was enough to shut his brain down completely. 

          “Never mind, sorry…” he trailed off, lowering his mouth against her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent and sucking marks onto her skin that would last for days. 

He may as well make the most of the situation.  He had no idea what was going on, but here was the woman he desired more than anything, begging him to take care of her, and he certainly wasn’t going to deny her.  Her sighs of pleasure made him painfully hard, and he knew he had to hurry up before their innocent little girl caught them in the act. 

“I need you, Ben,” Rey gasped, pushing his sleep pants down his hips.  He was delighted to find that Rey was a naughty little minx who wanted him as badly as he wanted her.  He parted her legs to settle in between them, and thrust into her hard, as though he had done it a thousand times before. 

His eyes rolled back in ecstasy, feeling how tight and hot she was.  It was as though her body was made to fit with his.  They moved together expertly, like waves crashing onto a shore. 

“Ah, yes right there!” Rey squealed when he brushed against a certain spot within her.  Watching her face contort in pleasure and feeling her hips move in a frenzy against his, Ben knew this was all he could ever want.  This woman, _his family_ , this place that was seemingly their home.  He had it all. 

“Maker, Ben!” Rey screamed again, holding him tightly.  “I’m close…”

“Already?” Ben asked, his voice swelling with arrogance.  “Damn, I’m good…”

Rey scowled at him, and pinched his ass hard, causing a surprised shriek to emit from his lips.

“Ssssh!” she hissed.  “She’s been sleeping with us every night.  If she comes in here before I finish…luckily, that garden is big.”

The urgency in her voice made him speed up, slamming his pelvis against her roughly. 

“Ahhhhhh, thank you!” she sighed, pulling him back down for a heated kiss.  “I love you, Ben.  I love you so kriffing much.”

Rey’s declaration of love and the feeling of her clenching around him as her orgasm claimed her, caused him to crash hard into his climax.  His head dropped to her shoulder, and he rained gentle kisses down on her delicate collarbones.

“I love you too, Rey,” he purred.  “More than anything.”

“You better,” she teased, running a hand through his raven locks.  Lying there with her, feeling her heart beating, he had never felt so complete.  In fact, he had never felt even a small amount of this feeling of contentment in his entire life.  He owed her everything.

Hearing his thoughts, Rey kissed him once more, deep and lingering.  “You saved me too, Ben.”  He smiled at her, and held her close, closing his eyes again.

_“Supreme Leader, your presence is required on the bridge!”_    Hux’s irritated voice cut through their afterglow, and Ben’s eyes shot open.  Instead of the open, warm space he had occupied with Rey, he was confronted with the sparse, dark appearance of his personal quarters. 

It had all been a dream.  The best dream he’d ever had, but a senseless reverie nonetheless.  He should’ve known.  He had thought of nothing but Rey’s kiss and her tale of their daughter since he had seen her several days before.  It was no wonder he would dream of them.  Sighing, he forced himself from the bed and headed for a cold shower.  He turned once more to regard his joyless dormitory.  He had never felt so empty. 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

          Out of all the struggles in her life, Rey couldn’t have imagined that trying to brush the hair of a five-year-old child would be one of the most memorable.  Espé squirmed in her arms and let out shrieks that made her ears ring, pleading with her to stop.

          “I’m sorry, darling,” Rey said, trying to keep her patience.  “But it must be done, otherwise it’ll get knotted and then we’ll have to cut it all off…you wouldn’t like that would you?”

          Espé grunted a response that didn’t sound at all pleased, but she settled slightly.  “Where did you get this hair, hmmm?” Rey meant to tease her, but as she maneuvered a brush through the dark curls, the joking question left a sting.  It was Ben’s hair, there was no doubt about it. 

          It was the first thing Rey had noticed when he’d taken his mask off.  All those raven waves surrounding a face that was surprisingly nice to look at. _Oh,_ she had thought.  _You are much nicer looking than I’d expected…_ Then there was his mouth, those full lips that she had been given the opportunity to taste, to feel against her own.  Why did he have to go and kiss her?  Why couldn’t he have just believed her? 

          She swallowed hard at the memory of his anger towards her when she’d told him about their daughter.  She was completely terrified now that Espé would disappear at any moment.  That one moment she would be holding the tiny girl in a maternal embrace, and before she could blink, be left with an emptiness between her arms that she was afraid would cause her to shut down completely.  This morning, when she opened her eyes, she had looked around frantically, only to be comforted by the sight of her daughter fast asleep next to her. 

          Espé had asked several times where her daddy was, and Rey always assured her that Ben was away on a mission but coming back very soon. 

          “A mission?” Espé asked, her little nose wrinkled up in confusion.  “Daddy mostly just cooks me food and reads me stories…”

          It had made Rey chuckle sadly despite herself, to think of Kylo Ren reading a children’s story or chopping vegetables.   It seemed far too domestic for a man who wore capes and wielded a sputtering, angry light saber.

          “What else does he do?” Rey prodded gently, her curiosity getting the better of her.

          Espé thought for a moment.  “Well, he kisses you a lot, and tells us how beautiful we are.  And he listens to me - the other day I asked him for a baby brother, and he said he’d talk to you about it…”

          Rey’s breath caught in her throat, and she blinked away tears before Espé could see them.  It served her right for inquiring.  It could only lead to more heartbreak. 

          There was a soft knock at the door, just as Rey was celebrating untangling the final stubborn curl on her daughter’s head.  Finn and BB8 were standing on the other side, and Espé barely acknowledged Finn before she rolled on the floor with BB8.  Her and the little droid had bonded, both being small in stature and incredibly feisty.

          Finn looked down at the pair with amusement.  “I guess she shares your affinity for droids?”

          Rey smiled, but knew why Finn had come.  They hadn’t really talked about Espé’s presence since she had come back from her meeting with Ben, and she could guess that he was perplexed about the situation.     

          “So…Kylo Ren?” he asked, trying to hide his distaste. 

          Rey scoffed.  “How could we possibly have this discussion?  I have no idea how or when it happened, but if Espé is a vision of the future, then I hate to tell you this, but yes, _Kylo Ren._ ”

          Finn shrugged.  “Look, Rey.  I can’t say I understand, but if the guy makes a turn around at some point, it can only be a good thing, right?”

          Rey turned to him, surprised.   “You’d accept him?”

          Finn smiled, and pulled her close.  “If you accept him, then I will. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but if it means that you’re happy, then I’ll do my best. Force knows you deserve it.”

          Rey squeezed him tightly in gratitude.  “You’re the greatest friend I could ever have, Finn.”

          “So, you have no clue as to how the fearsome Kylo Ren romances you enough to knock you up?”

          Rey punched his arm.   “I told you, no!”

          Finn rubbed the spot where she’d hit him.  “Ow!  Ok, ok!  I’m just trying to wrap my head around it!”

          Despite the light-hearted question, Rey knew she had to have a serious talk with her friend.  She hadn’t told him or any of her friends about what really happened the day she had gone to Ben, intent on bringing him back. 

          “Finn, he was the one who killed Snoke…”

          “What?  The First Order has a bounty on you, saying you did it.”

          Rey nodded.  “I know, but it was him.  Snoke wanted him to kill me, and instead, he turned on him.  He did it to save me.  There’s so much conflict in him, but I thought he’d come back with me, choose me.  He became Supreme Leader instead…”

Rey looked down at her hands, and knew she was going to have to tell Finn the whole story.  “We have a Force Bond.  I can see him and talk to him even when he’s on the other side of the galaxy.”

At Finn’s concerned look, she added: “I’ve kept it closed off for now.  But when I was with Luke on Ahch-To, we connected.  I saw a part of him that no one else sees.”  Rey steeled herself before she confessed to her friend.  “I wanted to help him.  I was falling in love with him…”

          Finn stared at her, but instead of disgust, she saw only pity in his dark eyes.  “Why didn’t you tell me this before now?”

          Rey shrugged, helplessly.  “After he attacked us on Crait, I didn’t want to tell anyone.  I was so desperate to just forget about him.  I was sure he was fully committed to the dark side, but then Espé came to me, and I had hope again.”

          Rey watched as Finn struggled to absorb everything she had told him. “Rey, if it was Kylo Ren who killed Snoke, we have to tell Leia and Poe. This is huge.”

          Rey’s eyes widened in fear.  “No!  We can’t tell them yet.  If the First Order finds out, he’ll be in danger.  They’ll execute him for treason.  I’m sure there are others who want to take over and rule in his place.  Please, Finn, just wait a little longer until I figure out why Espé is here.  If she’s not a vision of the future, then it won’t matter anymore.  He’ll be lost to me for good, if he isn’t already.  I know I should give up on him, but something inside of me is telling me not yet. If there is any chance that Espé is our future, then I need to keep trying.”

          “Do you really think she’s a vision of the future?” Finn inquired, awe in his voice. 

           “I hope so,” Rey whispered.  “I really hope so.”


	9. Chapter 9

Ben tried to resist the urge to pace nervously in his private quarters, but his pent-up anxiety needed to be burnt off somehow. He felt like the walls were closing in on him, and his thoughts flew around wildly in his head.   The longer he walked the length of his lodgings, the sound of his heavy footsteps fall into a predictable rhythm had a comforting lull, and soon he was able to think more clearly.  Hux was planning something.  He could sense it, feel it in the air around him, could tell that Hux was lying, but he couldn’t quite make out the full scope of the little weasel’s devious campaign.  He wanted to choke the life out of him, but he knew that it wouldn’t get him very far.  There would only be someone else hungry for power ready to usurp his position.   Plus, Hux’s army respected the general, and if he were to suddenly drop dead, Ben figured he would probably have a mutiny on his hands.  There wasn’t a single person he could trust. 

 

The only refuge he had was when he slept.  For the first time since the fateful night he had caught his uncle standing over him, Ben was sleeping more peacefully, and it was because that was the only place he had to be content.  Night after night, since his meeting with Rey, Ben was having dreams about his would-be family.  He knew they were dreams, knew he would wake up disappointed at the harsh reality of his life, but he let them unfold anyways. He needed these false moments like an addict needed a fix.   They were always little idyllic snippets of what life was like for this imaginary version of the Solo family, some of just him and his daughter, some of all three of them together, and then there were the dreams of just him and his wife.  Those in particular were the ones that had him heading grumpily for a frigid shower the second his eyes opened. 

 _Ben,_ Rey would always whisper.  _I need you.  I want you.  I love you._ She said these things with such conviction that he could almost believe they were true. 

          He thought back to the day he killed Snoke.  The day she had fearlessly launched herself into hostile territory to save him.  Staring up at him underneath a layer of glass, her eyes alight with something he wanted to hope was affection when she saw him standing above her.  Then in the lift, when she had brazenly invaded his space and whispered to him about his future.  Was it possible that she hadn’t been trying to trick him?

          The thought made him nauseous.  He had lashed out so furiously towards her, calling her a liar, denying the things she tried to tell him.  Did they have a little girl?  Had he given up his position for the chance at happiness with Rey?  How?  When?  He wasn’t sure if he could dive head first into an unlikely concept at a future when these answers seemed so unavailable…

          How she must hate him now…after his temper once again got the better of him…what kind of man denied his child their father?  He had hated watching his own leave time and time again.   It had hurt him so badly it assisted in pushing him into the darkness, and now he was alone in this cold, bleak world, constantly looking over his shoulder, waiting for the death blow.  Without the one person who he thought was his true equal. 

          Clenching his fists at the reminder of his pitiful existence, his breath came out in harsh pants. He needed to see for himself, had to see if she was real. What if there really was something beyond this life? Something much better than the feeling of treading water just to keep his head above the surface…did he even deserve such a thing? He thought of his Force connection with Rey.  If she felt him trying to get in, would she let him?  His recent behaviour certainly warranted the cold shoulder.  But now that his dreams were taunting him with images of things that seemed to good to be true, he had to try. 

          _Here goes nothing…._

          Rey had pored over every text she had, searching for clues about Espé’s existence, but so far nothing looked promising.  No magical passage in a book saying that she was some sort of Force entity that showed people their futures.  She rolled her eyes at herself – as if it would be that easy.  What did she expect?  A photo of Espé staring up at her, with a chapter dedicated to mystical Force daughters parented by people on opposing sides of a war?

          “Mommy, can we go outside?” said Force daughter was at her side, pulling on her sleeve.  She had been cooped up with Rey, forced to entertain herself while Rey was reading, and since all her default playmates were otherwise occupied, coloured pencils and dolls could only get her so far before boredom set in. 

          “Just a few more minutes, then I promise we can go play…can you give me just a couple more?”

          “Can I sit with you, at least?” she asked, and Rey bent to lift her onto the seat beside her.    Espé curled into her lap and sat quietly, just content to bask in the comforting presence of her mother’s embrace. 

         

 

 

          That was how he found them.  Sitting there together, curled up lovingly against each other.   They were so beautiful, and he could’ve watched them forever.  But Rey’s shoulders stiffened, and he heard her let out a little gasp of air in shock before her eyes lifted to his.  He saw a myriad of emotions cross her face in what seemed like half a second.

          “What are you doing here?” she croaked.  The little girl who had been fiddling with the spine of one of the books, looked up abruptly to see him standing in front of them. 

          Later, he would replay the moment countless times in his mind.  The look of pure delight in those beautiful hazel eyes was one he would never forget. 

          “Daddy, you’re finally back!” she cried happily, and moved to run towards him.  Rey grabbed her arm tightly, and shook her head.

          “No, Espé.”

          “But Mommy, Daddy’s here, and I want to hug him!”

          She pulled out of Rey’s grasp, and hauled herself towards Ben.  Rey held her breath, fulling expecting him to disappear, but he caught her with ease, and held her against him. 

          “I missed you, Daddy,” she whispered, burying her face in the hair so much like her own.  He held on tightly, feeling the weight and warmth of the tiny body in his arms.  It was addictive.  Immediately, he knew she was his.   She really did exist. Rey had been telling him the truth. His guilt threatened to crush his heart in it’s cruel fist. He wanted to run to his beloved, fall on his knees and beg her forgiveness.

          He looked back to where Rey watched apprehensively from the other side of the room.  Her eyes were full of tears, and he felt them well in his own as well.

          “She’s real.”

          “Yes, I tried to tell you.”  The tears slipped down her cheeks, and he moved toward her.  With the arm not holding his child, he lifted his hand and gently wiped them from her cheeks.

          “I’m so sorry.”

          His remorse only made her weep harder.  She could feel it, all his pain and anguish from when he had called her a liar.  And she could feel his love, for both her and their child.

          “The connection won’t last.  Can we meet back at the island?”  He was desperate to be with them.  _His family._

          Rey looked uncertain, but to his relief, after a moment’s pause, she nodded.  “All right, we’ll be there, waiting for you.”

          Ben hastily set Espé gently onto her feet, and just like that, he was gone, leaving Rey to comfort a wailing child who didn’t understand how her father could just disappear into thin air.

          “It’s going to be all right, sweetheart,” Rey said, trying to quiet her cries. “We are going to see Daddy again very soon.”   And as the words came out of her mouth, despite Espé’s obvious turmoil, Rey’s heart swelled with joy. 


	10. Chapter 10

          Rey could hardly be surprised about the amount of love Espé had for the Porgs.  The second they landed on the island, she was completely enamoured by the feathery beings.  She had begged Rey for a piece of bread from her pack, and despite her Jakku-honed hoarding instincts, Rey had reluctantly obliged.  Now her daughter was surrounded by a gaggle of the creatures, all waiting excitedly for the next crumb to drop to the ground.  She squealed with delight as they gobbled up the morsels, hopped around her feet and gazed up at her lovingly with their giant eyes. 

Rey sat down on a nearby rock and watched the feeding frenzy, every now and then casting a nervous glance to the sky.  She was incredibly nervous.  Espé was so excited to see him, and yet she had no idea how this meeting was going to go.  Hopefully, better than the last one…

          Her daughter was now crawling over the rocks, followed by a Porg parade, who were not ready to accept that the bread was gone.  Espé held out her hand, and a smaller Porg sprang onto her palm.  Rey had to admit it was adorable, and nodded at the child when she called out for her to watch the interaction.  Rey smiled and laughed, but her happiness was clouded by something else.  She could feel Ben.  He was close by.  She looked up at the sky again, but there was no sign of him.  That was odd, but he should be arriving soon, if his Force signature was evident.

          Rey stood and walked over to Espé, wanting to brush her off before she met her father in person.  She made sure her hair was in place, and wiped a spot of dirt off her face.

          “Mommy, they like me!” Espé laughed, as another Porg leapt onto her shoulder. 

          “You could be a Porg trainer,” Rey joked, but Espé took it as a genuine career suggestion. 

          “I could have a Porg farm!”

          “Those things are filthy,” a deep voice rang from below them.   Rey gasped and turned to see Ben standing on the cliffside, frowning up at them.  “They’re covered in germs.  You shouldn’t let them go near her.”

          Rey bristled, and was about to defend her parenting when Espé jumped up, causing the birds to scatter in surprise.

          “Daddy’s here!” she cried, and tried to make her way to him, despite the treacherous and steep pathway.  Rey grabbed onto her shoulders, and held her in place.

          “Uh uh,” she scolded, foreseeing her child falling flat on her face.  “Wait for him to come up here.”

          Taking that as permission, Ben climbed toward them.  Rey’s heart pounded in her chest at the sight of him.

          “Where is your ship?” she demanded, mad for missing his landing.  Not the keen observational skills of a mother protecting her child, Rey berated herself.

          “On the other side,” Ben explained.  “I had to make sure there wouldn’t be any water ruining the controls.  Salt water especially can cause haywire, and the Falcon has the only safe spot on this side…”

          He made it up the hillside quickly, those long legs making it far easier for him than it had for Rey and the five-year-old she had to assist.  She could hardly believe he was here, in front of them.  They gazed at each other for a long moment before Espé required his full attention, demanding that he lift her into his arms.

          Ben turned his dark eyes to look at the child at his feet.  Rey watched hungrily for his reaction, and wasn’t disappointed.  His eyes were full of emotion, and he willingly bent to lift his daughter into his arms.  She nestled against him happily, and the show of affection seemed almost too much for him to handle.  He thought back to all the warm, fulfilling dreams he had been having lately…maybe they weren’t as impossible as he thought they were…

          This was his _daughter_ , and not only that, her mother was the woman Ben wanted more than anything.  She had a baby with him.  It was extraordinary.  In a life filled with so much darkness, it shocked him to realize he could feel so much light inside of him.         

          Even better, Espé was so receptive to him.  She looked at him like he was the centre of her universe.  He didn’t think he could ever get enough of her calling him ‘Daddy’. 

          “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to her, and she smiled adoringly at him.

          “Yeah Daddy, I know.  You tell me all the time.”

          “I do?”

          Espé nodded.  “And you tell Mommy all the time too.”

          Ben turned to look at Rey again, and stepped closer to her.   He cupped her cheek in his hand, and stroked his thumb across her skin.  Rey tried to resist his touch, but her eyes closed at the sensation.  It felt good to be this close to him.  _Really, really good._  

          “She is beautiful.  The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”  Ben scanned his daughters face again, trying to memorize every precious detail. "And lucky for you, you inherited her ears and nose.”

          Espé giggled.  “You’re silly, Daddy, but I’m glad you’re back.  I missed you!” She hugged him once more, and then began to wriggle enthusiastically.  “Now, can you put me down, so I can play with the Porgs again?”

          “All right, but don’t let them jump on you.  They’re dirty.”  He set her back onto the ground, and Espé took off running, over to the cluster of her new friends.

          Rey clenched her jaw, about to tell him off for suddenly trying to parent when he had initially rejected her claim.  The second she opened her mouth, he stole the opportunity by claiming her lips passionately.

          She cried out in surprise, but the feel off his tongue parting her lips to caress her own had her melting into his embrace.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed against him tightly.  She knew she shouldn’t fall into his arms so easily, but after spending so much time with the daughter he had helped create, it had done something to unsteady her hormones.  She needed him badly. 

          When lack of oxygen became an issue, she pulled away to glare up at him.  “Don’t think this means I’ve forgiven you for calling me a liar.”

          Ben shook his head.  “I won’t.”  Then he hesitated, looking suddenly very nervous.  “I know it’s a lot to ask, but can we stay here for a little while?  I want to spend time with the two of you…”

          Rey’s heart fluttered rapidly.  “I have enough food for two days.”

          Ben’s face broke into a genuine smile and it took her breath away.  She had never seen him so happy, and it was wonderful.  There _was_ still light in him after all.  She was determined to show him what he would be missing if he didn’t stray from his current path.  But if it had seemed difficult before, she had a feeling now that maybe it wouldn’t be so arduous.  Not with him gazing so lovingly at their daughter as she played in the grass.

          “Won’t the First Order wonder where their Supreme Leader is?” Rey asked, struggling to keep the bitterness from her voice. At the mention of his responsibilities, Ben’s smile disappeared.

          “Let me worry about that,” he told her.  “For now, this is what matters.”

          Rey blinked away the tears in her eyes, and wrapped her arms around him.  She felt the energy pulse around them, as though the Force was congratulating them for the resolution they had come to.  The feeling was wholly satisfying, and Rey hoped that it would last.  She had never felt so complete.

 

 

          On the other side of the galaxy, Lieutenant Trask of the First Order walked quickly towards his General.  Hux turned to regard his officer, who saluted hastily.

          “Excuse me for the intrusion, General.  But there is someone who would like to talk to you.  I think you’ll want to hear what they have to say.”

          “Very well,” Hux replied, nodding curtly to his second in command to take over.  “Lead the way, Lieutenant.”


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you so much for your comments, and kudos, etc. This chapter is pretty much all fluff, before I get back into the real plot, but we need some of that too, right? :)

                Rey watched them fondly across the flames of the fire.  Espé curled into Ben’s lap, their dinner plates casually laying in the grass next to them.  The sun was about to disappear completely, and a cool breeze had swept over them, causing the little girl to shiver and take refuge in her father’s arms. 

                Ben locked eyes with her.  In the light of the fire, they gleamed with happiness.  It amazed her that removed from the darkness of his life, he could look like an entirely different person.  He was so kriffing beautiful. 

                Perhaps she had thought that too overtly, because Ben smirked at her and beckoned her to come over with them.

                “There’s room for you, too,” he said, lifting the blanket that currently swathed him and his daughter, who was rapidly becoming drowsier.  Her little eyes drooped helplessly as she nestled into his chest. 

                Rey flushed, but stood nonetheless, walking over to them.  She burrowed into him, mirroring her daughter on the other side, and sighed happily.

                “Dinner was good,” Ben complimented her.  “Thank you.”  It was so domestic, Rey would’ve cringed if she wasn’t so incredibly content.  Her preparing the food, her man cradling their child in his arms.  Now the three of them cuddled under a blanket together in front of a blazing fire.  It was like a sappy holovid that she couldn’t help but love.  All her life she had wanted to be wanted.  Loved.  Needed.  Cared for.  This rose-coloured scene may be soppy, but after a life time of heartache, she kriffing _deserved it._

                “This is _good_ , Ben,” she murmured, and felt his arm tighten against her.  He turned his head, to see her staring up at him, their noses grazing.  A quick glance told him that his daughter was now fast asleep, and he wasted no time in lowering his mouth to Rey’s, kissing her slowly and deeply.   

                “Shall I put her to bed?” Ben whispered against her lips, and Rey’s heart beat increased exponentially.  The intent behind his words was unmistakeable.  He wanted them to be alone. 

                Rey took a deep breath, and nodded.  Ben was on his feet incredibly fast, his grace deceiving for a man with so much limb to maneuver, although that hadn’t been the first time she admired the way he moved. 

                “I want dessert,” their daughter’s little voice rang out, disgruntled and muddled with exhaustion, her eyes opening briefly before her tiny head slumped back against Ben’s chest.  They both breathed simultaneous sighs of relief, before Ben hurried into the nearest stone hut, laying Espe out onto the bed roll Rey had left for her. 

                She watched Ben tuck Espé in with such astounding tenderness, she could hardly believe it was the same man as the fearsome Kylo Ren.  Watching them together, she knew he wasn’t resigned to a life in the shadows.  He wasn’t lost.  It was so obvious now. 

                When he returned to her, she was lying on her side in the grass, staring at him with a soft smile on her face.  He lay down on his back, beside her.

                “What’s so amusing?” he demanded, although his tone was light.

                “You’re a daddy,” she teased, prodding him gently in the side.   He caught her dainty wrist in his huge hand, and pinned her arm above her head.

                “Don’t start with that,” he warned, leaning over her.

                “And you’re ticklish!” she squealed.  “If only your enemies knew, Kylo Ren could be weakened with a soft poke to the ribs.”

                “Shut up,” he growled, and when she tried to attack from the other side, he quickly pinned her other hand too, so that she was completely immobile and spread beneath him.   Even though it was dark, Rey could see the hunger in his eyes as he settled between her thighs.

                “I won’t tell,” Rey whispered.  “It’ll be our secret.”

                “Then I should reward you for your discretion,” he murmured back, and Rey shivered at the promise in his voice.  When he kissed her this time, it was hungry and passionate.  His tongue swept over hers, and Rey moaned underneath him.  She marveled at how simple it was to respond to him, even as inexperienced as she was.  It was like their bodies were made to move together, and much like when they fought against Snoke’s guards in the throne room of the Supremacy, it felt natural to be in sync with him. 

                She liked this more though, she decided, as his hand moved to knead her breast.  She pulled away from his mouth with a gasp when he ran a thumb over her nipple.

                “Ben, I want you,” she sighed, stroking her hands through his hair. 

                “Me too, Rey, you have no idea,” he gasped. 

                “I think I do,” she joked, as she could feel him hard and heavy between her legs.  She grinded her hips against him, enjoying the groan and the clenched jaw that followed such a motion. 

                “Tease,” he countered, before pulling her tunic away from her chest to bare her upper half to him completely.  She resisted the urge to cover herself, caught up in the look of adoration from the man above her. 

                “Beautiful,” he breathed, before kissing her hard.  His mouth moved from her lips to her neck, and he sucked marks into the flawless skin there, smirking at the thought of them being there for days.  When his mouth closed around her nipple, he knew he’d never get enough of the satisfied cry that rang from her lips.  He wanted to hear it again and again.

                “I’ve – I’ve never done this before,” she choked out.

                Ben smiled, delighted that he would be the first man to have her.  _The only man_ , he corrected.

                “It’s all right, Rey,” he soothed.  “I haven’t either.”

                She stared up at him in shock, but then she let out a sigh of relief.  “We belong to each other,” she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears.

                “Yes, my love,” he agreed, before returning his attention to her body. 

                When he finally slid inside of her, Rey knew they could never go back.  They could never go back to being apart, on opposite sides, angry at each other for choosing the wrong path.  They were meant to be partners.  The Force hummed around them, calm for once now that these two equal pieces had come together. 

                “So that’s what all the fuss is about,” Rey mused, as she laid her head upon his chest.  Both were sweaty, sated and sore.  Ben drew lazy patterns onto the skin of her back, and she pulled the blanket over the them, not wanting the chill of the island to be a part of their hazy afterglow.

                “It was like my dreams, except better,” Ben told her.

                “Dreams?”

                He nodded.  “So many dreams, and in a lot of them, we are naked.”

                She giggled, enjoying this playful side of him.  He was boyish here with her.  Years of torture and abuse seemed to have lifted from his demeanor.  The fact that she had scattered his layers of black clothing through the grass around them helped too.

                “Then there are some when we’re with Espé…that’s why I came to you.  They felt so real.  I needed to know.”

                “I tried to tell you.”  Rey frowned slightly, remembering the day he had hatefully rejected her.

                “I know I’ve said it before, but I’m sorry…I just couldn’t believe it.  Do you really think she’s ours Rey?”

                “At first, I was in disbelief too, but more and more I really believe it’s true.  Do you know if anything like this has happened before?”

                Ben shrugged.  “I’ve never heard of it.  She doesn’t feel like a vision.  We can touch her, and others can see her.  It is truly remarkable.”

                Rey hugged him tightly.  “Yes, it is,” she agreed.  There was so much they needed to discuss, but she knew it was better left for the morning.  For now, she just wanted to be here with him, and not worry about the future.  If only for tonight, could they just be lovers? 


	12. Chapter 12

                There had been many times in her life where Rey had been awoken abruptly.  None of them had ever been positive…that is, until this particular morning, when she had woken to an extremely glorious sensation radiating from her lower half.  She moaned and blinked herself awake, and then looked down at the raven curls of her lover nestled between her thighs, licking and sucking at her as though she was a piece of candy.

                “Ben,” she whispered in a high-pitched voice she didn’t recognize as her own.  “What are you doing?”

                “Making you feel good,” he replied, simply, before returning to his previous activities.  She hummed in agreeance, and looked up at the cliffs hovering above them.  Everything came back in a rush.  Her and Ben making love beneath the stars.  Falling asleep in his arms.  Then being awoken to make love again and again and again, in various positions, each one revealing its own specific advantages.  But they hadn’t done this yet, and it might be Rey’s favourite thing.   And despite being as inexperienced as she was, Ben seemed to be rather talented at it.  Although, with lips as full and soft as his, she was hardly surprised.   She curled her fingers into the silky strands of his hair, and he raised his eyes to hers.  They were burning black and full of heat, and in that moment, under his stare, she was overcome.

                She curved her spine off the ground, and squealed, as quietly as possible.  Their daughter was asleep only a short distance away.

                “Force, Ben,” she gasped.  “That was incredible.”

                Ben grinned proudly, and moved up her body to kiss her.   Her hands wandered down to grasp him gently, and he moaned.  Using his pleasure as a distraction, she flipped him onto his back, smiling mischievously at his cry of surprise.

                “ Your turn.”  She kissed a trail down his chest, allowing her fingers to follow after her, falling into the grooves of his hard muscles.  Stars above, she loved his body.  If she were to write a book about how kriffing hot he was, it would be four times as thick as one of the ancient Jedi texts she’d stolen from Luke.

                “Please, have your way with me,” he teased. 

                “Oh, I’m planning on it.   I’m going to make you –”

                “DADDY!” screeched a tiny voice, shattering any promise of further ecstasy for the couple.

                Ben quickly sprang to his knees, as though the ground was on fire.  He dressed with impressive precision and purpose, and Rey, despite her disappointment at being interrupted, giggled uncontrollably at the sight of such a fierce warrior standing at attention the second his daughter demanded his presence. 

                “What?” he scowled down at her.

                “Oh, nothing…” she laughed.  “It’s just that your obedience is astounding.  She’s only a five-year-old girl.”

                Ben leant down and kissed her hard, before raising a massive hand to smack her bare bottom.   Rey gasped into his mouth, and immediately regretted teasing him…not because he was angry, but because she wanted him again, desperately.

                He smirked as he walked away, full well knowing his effect on her. 

                “Daddy, I’m awake!” Espé screamed again.  “Come and get me!”

                “I’m coming, sweetheart,” he responded, with a display of patience Rey had never seen him demonstrate before.

                She sighed and stretched, before reluctantly dressing.   She didn’t want her little girl seeing her naked in the outdoors.  She was already full of constant questions.  Rey hardly wanted to make it worse.  As she quickly scurried through the grass, grabbing the clothing Ben had eagerly flung away, she noticed a family of Porgs staring at her disapprovingly, as if they had been forced to witness the actions of the couple all night long.

                Rey glared at them, but they refused to drop their alarmed gazes.  “I’m sorry,” she offered, finally.  “But have you _seen_ him?”

               

 

 

 

                General Hux walked rapidly to the bridge of his ship, the place where he felt most at home.  He loved watching all his officers busy at work, fastidiously rushing about to further elevate the First Order.  They all nodded quickly in respect when he entered their line of sight, and his purposeful steps quickened more.

                They respect me, he thought to himself.  I am their rightful leader.  Not Ren.   

                Normally this reminder of his new found and extremely reluctant position caused a stab of annoyance in his chest, but not today.

                You are done for, Ren.  He almost smiled in sheer delight, but then remembered where he was.  You are a traitor, and I will see you punished.  He could hardly wait to have Ren executed for treason.  They would make it an annual holiday.

                When Lieutenant Trask had ushered him into a conference room, explaining that a pod had entered the ship, demanding safe harbour, he had been shocked by the sight before him.  It was a man around the same age as him, but he was severely injured.  It wasn’t something Hux was used to.   There were usually bacta tanks and other highly technological methods for healing such wounds.  Whatever this man had been through, there hadn’t been anything to aide in the quickening of the remedial process for him.

                “In the name of the galaxy,” Hux started, his nose scrunching in disgust.  “What happened to you?”

                The man, despite his maladies, smirked at the general.  “You don’t recognize me, General Hux?”

                Hux bristled in annoyance, but held his tongue.  The look on Trask’s face told him he needed to hear whatever this mysterious stranger had to say.

                The man wheezed deeply in what Hux could only guess was a laugh.  “I suppose you wouldn’t.   I was always covered up, head to toe.  There was no way you could’ve known who I was…but I know who you are, and I know you will want to hear my story…”

                Now Hux stood on the bridge, surveying his industrial hive of loyal employees.  They would be addressing him as Supreme Leader soon enough.  He just needed to figure out wherever Ren had disappeared to.

                But after hearing the man’s story, he could guess who was by his side.  That filthy little scavenger girl.   He could only imagine what they were up to.  Ren clearly cared for her, since it seemed he would do anything to protect her. 

 She would need to be punished too, of course.  Perhaps before Ren, he would have her executed, and force the dark warrior to watch.  It would be such sweet payback for all the times he was choked, or thrown, or knocked over.  And for the lies and betrayal.  Kill the girl, and make Ren a tortured observer to her painful death.   Just the thought of it made him click his heels together in malevolent glee.

                Not long now, he encouraged himself.  And you’ll have everything you always wanted. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ahhhhhhh!  Can anyone guess who Hux was introduced to?

 

I was bitten by a dog this week (I’m a dog walker, it’s an occupational hazard), and although it was unintentional, he got me really bad on the wrist, affecting my tendons and muscles, and it resulted in a lot of blood loss and a long hospital visit, antibiotics, and a very hindering bandage situation.  Needless to say, I was slightly restricted with using my one arm the last few days.  Very hard to type with only one hand, so it’ll take me a bit longer than usual to update.  Also, I apologize for any errors – I may or may not be on some painkillers at the moment.  *whistles innocently*. 

 

I hope it was worth the wait.  I love my loyal readers, and any newbies of course.  :)


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks to everyone for their concern! I am recovering and healing fast. I can use two hands again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Rey wasn’t naïve enough to think it would last forever.  The feeling of pure bliss that was the three of them on this island together, living like the happy family she had always dreamed of, had to end some time.  But when the sun rose that morning, the grief that coursed through her stole the breath from her lungs.

                “What is it?” Ben asked, as he pulled his tunic over his head.  They had only slept next to each other for two nights, and yet, she was hooked on the feeling of waking up in his arms, on the sensation of his chest moving against her back as he breathed in a deep sleep, the touch of his stubble as he nuzzled against the back of her neck...   It had been another night of love making, even better than the first.  Rey couldn’t believe how good it felt to be with him like that.  Sharing each other that way was something she wouldn’t be able to let go of easily.

                She tried to keep her tears at bay, but when she looked into his eyes, the concern in their dark, expressive depths was too much for her to handle.

                “You’re leaving,” she told him, and it wasn’t a question.  She could feel it.  He was getting ready to depart.   To leave them behind…

                “Yes,” he told her simply.  “I have to.  You know that...”

                “You don’t _have_ to,” she shot back, and she resented the anger she heard in her own voice.  They were in such a good place.  She didn’t want to separate on this note, with any conflict between them.  But the fact that he was willing to walk away from his family, without hesitation or regret, made frustration churn inside of her. 

                “That’s not fair,” he whispered, sensing her thoughts.  “I am full of reluctance.  And guilt.”

                “Then why?” she fired back, seizing her opportunity to persuade.  She cupped his cheek in her hand, stroked the skin of his face under her thumb.  “You can stay with us.  You can come back!  I’ve told you before, it isn’t too late!”

                Ben bit his lip, and she could see for once he was trying to control his urge to head straight for rage.  Fatherhood had certainly changed him, even if it had only been two days…

                “Rey, you know that’s not true.  I can’t just waltz into Resistance territory.  I’m a war criminal to them.”

                “It wouldn’t be like that!  They’ve seen Espé!  They’ll want to help!”

                And just like that, the temper he had tried so hard to contain broke free from it’s precarious cage.  “We don’t even know if she’s real!” he hissed.  The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted them.  He would’ve given anything in the galaxy to take them back.

                Rey recoiled as though he had struck her, and he watched in horror as tears fell from her eyes.   “Why did you come then?” she rasped.  “To trick me into bed?  Was that all this was?  An act you put on for a fuck or two?  Revenge for me leaving you after you killed Snoke?”  She turned to leave their hut, but he grabbed her arm tightly.

                “No, Rey, I didn’t mean it.  Please understand.”  He pulled her closer.  “What would you have me do?  They will hunt me to the edge of the galaxy if I don’t return.  I need to go back to the First Order.”

                “It’s not who you are!” She cried.  She wanted to smack him, punch him, kick him – whatever it took to make the words hit home.  “You are mine.  And hers,” she gestured to the little girl playing with her feathery companions, out in the grass.  “That is who you are.”

                Ben stared at her tear stained face for a long moment, before cupping the back of her head and pulling her mouth to his.  He kissed her hard, as though the action could convey everything she meant to him.  Everything he was afraid to say out loud.  He wanted to memorize the feel of her lips, the taste of her mouth, the silkiness of her hair under his palm.  It could be the last time he ever got to touch her this way, and he would make the most of it.

                Only when she felt that suffocation was imminent, did Rey break contact.  “You can’t tell me that wasn’t a Ben Solo kiss,” she panted, resting her forehead against his chest.

                He smiled sadly, and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent.  He knew she was right.  He couldn’t spend his life surrounding by lackeys and people vying for his position.  He needed her, like a flower straining towards the sun.   “For now, Rey,” he revised.  “I need to go back, for now…”

 

               

 

 

 

 

                Rose had tried to bake muffins.  They were awful, to a spectacular degree.  Poe and Finn gallantly attempted to choke them down, smiling and miming expressions of appreciation, but she could tell they hated them.

                “Okay, you guys,” she laughed.  “You don’t have to eat them.”  They shook their heads, frantically chewing, needing to save their taste buds from annihilation as soon as possible. 

                “So delicious,” Finn mumbled around the tortuous morsel.  All those years in Stormtrooper training, and a baked good would be the thing that killed him…

                “Mhmm!” Poe agreed, despite the greenish tinge to his skin. 

                “Stop eating them!” Rose cried.  “It’s fine.  I’m not a baker.  I can accept it!”

                The men exchanged a glance, before simultaneously spitting out the remaining crumbs onto their plates.

                “I’m sorry,” Finn grimaced, apologetically.  “I wanted to like it, I really did!”

                "What were those hard chunks, anyways?" Poe demanded, "I think I chipped a tooth!"  

                Rose laughed uproariously, and Finn and Poe, relieved that her feelings weren't hurt, couldn’t help but chuckle at her delight.  As the three of them laughed, BB8 rolled over urgently and bumped Poe’s leg in distress.

                “What is it, buddy?” he asked, his brow furrowed in concern. He bent down to give the droid his undivided attention.

                BB8 beeped and chirped frantically, practically vibrating with anxiety.  From the look on his friend’s face, Finn felt immediate concern.

                “What’s wrong, Poe?” he demanded, but before his friend could answer, BB8 shot a projected image into the space around them.

                There, staring back at them, was the face of their beloved Rey. 

                **WANTED:  REY OF JAKKU, SCAVENGER** , the caption read under her face.  It further elaborated that she was a dangerous criminal and promised a hefty amount of credits as a reward.

                “Well, it’s no surprise, I guess,” Poe mused.  “I mean, she killed Snoke.  They must be dying to get their hands on her! We’ll just have to make sure she has extra protection now that they’re on the lookout for her.”

                Finn shifted uncomfortably on his feet, remembering what Rey had told him about that fight on the Supremacy, and how she wasn’t the one who defeated the First Order’s ruler.  However, before he could speak up, BB8 beeped again, this time even more impatient.

                “What?” Poe exclaimed.  “Show me, BB!”

                BB8 shot another projection into the room.  This time, the face staring back at them was none other than Kylo Ren.

                “Oh boy,” Poe choked out.  “That is interesting…”

                **WANTED:  KYLO REN, TRAITOR.  MURDERER OF SUPREME LEADER SNOKE.  MUST BE CAPTURED ALIVE FOR PUBLIC EXECUTION. BY ORDER OF GENERAL ARMITAGE HUX OF THE FIRST ORDER.**


	14. Chapter 14

Rey hated it. She hated it more than she had ever hated anything. She had watched her parents fly away from her on Jakku, while she begged and pleaded for them to come back, tears of pain welling in her eyes at the tight grip Unkar Plutt's meaty fingers had around her tiny little arm. 

Now she was watching her own child desperately try and persuade her father to stay with her, and the sight made her ill. Espé had wrapped her entire body around Ben's midsection as tightly as possible, and the sight would have almost been funny to Rey, seeing how Ben looked even more massive compared to the daintiness of the five year old girl entwined with his torso. However, it wasn't amusing at all to see the anguish his leaving caused their daughter. 

"Please, Daddy!" Espé wailed, squeezing him hard. "Please don't go!" Her tears fell onto his overcoat, leaving little splotches of turmoil in the fabric.

Ben closed his eyes, and tried to hide the emotion in his voice. "It's only for a little while, sweetheart," he promised her. "I'll see you again soon..." He buried his face in her curls and held her close while she sobbed.

Rey took the opportunity to once again plead her case. She stepped towards them, and rubbed Espé's back while she wept. "Ben, I really don't think you should go back," she kept her voice low so she wouldn't further distress her daughter. "I have a bad feeling about it..."

  
"I'll be all right," he assured her. "We will meet again in a few weeks, and everything will be like it was here. Then we'll figure it out." Rey figured the it he was referring to was their precarious situation. She had honestly thought this would be the end of their separation, and yet here he was, walking away from her, from them. He told her he needed to go back for the time being, but she didn't see how that would accomplish anything. What if this was the last time she ever saw him?

  
Ben stared into her eyes, hearing her thoughts, and his own dark orbs were full of pain and uncertainty. He transferred their daughter into her embrace, and stepped away from them.

  
"No! No, Daddy, please!" Espé cried, reaching out for him again, but Ben turned swiftly and walked away, only looking back once to see both his girls crying for him. He swallowed his own sobs, and kept going until he was out of sight.

Only once his shuttle was rapidly moving away from the island, did Rey fully give in to her heartbreak. Her tears fell with Espé's, her sobs shaking the tiny girl in her arms. "It's all right, darling. We'll see him soon." Rey had no idea how her child could believe what she was saying, when she had such a hard time believing it herself.  
As he flew completely out of sight, she scolded herself angrily. _Why didn't I tell him I love him?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The pain in his chest made it hard to breathe. It made it hard to see, hear or think even. Ben felt like the further he moved away from them, the harder it was for him to physically exist. He wanted desperately to stay there with the two of them forever, to forget about the rest of the galaxy, and spend his life tending to his family.

At least his wishes gave him clarity for once. He knew now where he was meant to be. The struggle between the light and the dark inside of him was finally settled. If being with Rey and having a family was what made him feel complete, then he was willing to do anything to make it possible. No more First Order. No more dark side. No more being apart from the woman he loved. He would go back, and put Hux down like the rabid dog that he was, and then he would walk away from it all. 

_Fuck_ , he thought. He was willing to help the Resistance if that meant attaining peace, and allowed him to be with his woman once and for all. He could kick himself for not realizing that sooner. She had been the answer all along. His Rey. His beautiful, wonderful light. No wonder he had spent so much time consumed by thoughts of her. Force, he had cut his master in two for her.

  
_Why didn't I tell her she's everything to me?_ He berated himself. _You just walked away, you useless nerfherder_. He supposed he could connect with her, tell her exactly how he felt, but not doing it face to face cheapened the act. He wanted to be in front of her, hold her close, kneel at the altar, worship her...

  
He took a deep breath and calmed himself. His shuttle was about to land in the hangar, and he needed everyone to see him as their cold, composed Supreme Leader until he had the perfect opportunity to strike.

  
He fastened his cape to his shoulders and descended the walkway, striding tall and forceful. Only when he got to the bottom, he realized that the small group of stormtroopers gathered around him were not there to salute him. He frowned and was about to demand their submission when they parted to allow General Hux to approach.   
His sneer was even more pronounced than usual, and he straightened his shoulders with relish. He looked happier than Ben had even seen him.

  
"Kylo Ren," he uttered in a voice laced with malice. "You are under arrest for treason."

  
Ben's heart hammered in his chest. "What is the reason for this?" he spat.

  
"The murder of our illustrious ruler, Supreme Leader Snoke," Hux explained. With that, several blasters were levelled at him.

  
Ben could only stare back at the cruel blue eyes of the general. He could see how pleased the man was to finally have his moment. There was no getting out of this. He was finished.

  
_Rey was right._ And then his world tumbled into chaos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rey watched as Espé slept, a small frown on her little face. Ever since they had returned, her daughter had been sullen and despondent. Finally, she had succumbed to her exhaustion between Rey and Leia on the sofa, her head in Rey's lap, while her feet rested in her grandmother's lap.

  
"It sounds like he's finally giving in," Leia encouraged Rey.

  
Rey smiled sadly. "I know he loves me," she told the older woman. "I can tell in the way he looks at me, the way he --" she abruptly cut herself off, flushing in embarrassment. This woman was his mother after all.

  
Leia smirked knowingly. "He's a Solo...you don't need to explain..."

  
Rey's blush increased exponentially, but she laughed despite herself, before growing serious again. "I just wish I knew what he was planning...he promised he was going to see us again soon, but it isn't good enough. I want him here with me, where I know he's safe!"

  
Leia shrugged. "Except he wouldn't be safe. He'd be a fugitive. He wants to protect you. Both of you."

  
Rey looked back at her daughter, and softly stroked her hair. "I've sort of given up wondering where the hell she came from. I almost forget what it was like before she was here."   
  
"It's strange though," Rey contined. "Her force signature has always been strong, but since we left the island, it's become even more fortified. Like she's grown more powerful somehow."

  
Leia nodded her head. "I feel it too," she confessed.

  
They stared at each other for a long moment before the air around Rey crackled with energy. She stiffened. _Ben_?

_REY! Rey, I need your help..._

Immediately she knew something was horribly wrong. She couldn't see him. She could only hear him and the connection felt weak and shaky.  
Ben, what's happened? And then she felt it. Terrible pain. And something wet and sticky. Blood. Rey stood up quickly, as though she could reach him more easily if she moved around. She suddenly felt horribly useless.

  
_Ben, you're hurt...tell me how I can help you..._

There was no answer. _BEN_! Silence...

  
A loud gasp from Leia caused Rey to turn back to the sofa. Instead of two bodies resting there, Leia was alone. Espé had vanished, completely gone from the room, with no evidence that she had been sleeping there only seconds before. As though she had never been there at all.


	15. Chapter 15

I dropped a little hint this chapter .... ;)

The last few hours had been a blur. Rey remembered very little after she had collapsed to her knees. Finn gently explained that she had been screaming in anguish, like a wounded animal after Espé had vanished into thin air. It had taken several of them to restrain her, as she had lashed out with the Force in her pain, but once they had, she had swiftly been administered a strong sedative, and now she sat on the couch in Leia's quarters, draped in a blanket to try and quell her intense shivering. There were four sets of dark eyes trained on her in extreme concern. 

"We didn't have much choice, Rey," Leia told her. "You went completely wild..." 

Rey was horrified to hear that she could've harmed someone in her despair, so she was slightly relieved that they had subdued her before she'd done any real damage. Thankfully though, the drugs they had given her were starting to wear off and her mind was slowly becoming focused again. That meant she could start solving the seemingly insurmountable problems that had been thrown at her feet... Although every time she thought of Ben's scared voice through their bond, fresh tears would pour down her face, and she would relive all the anxiety again. Maybe it was better to feel nothing...to exist in the hazy, dreamy state the sedatives allowed. Then she wouldn't have to think about her dying love or her missing child.

A sob bubbled from her throat, and Finn tentatively moved closer to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "How are you feeling now?"

Rey smiled bitterly, and resisted the urge to lash out at her friend for such a stupid question. "I'm wonderful," she wanted to snap. "Isn't that how one is supposed to feel when the two people they love most are suddenly gone, perhaps forever?"

But Finn was worried about her. She couldn't blame him for that, so instead of forcing him to endure her agitation, she simply shrugged.

"Rey, why didn't you tell us that Kylo Ren had been the one to kill Snoke?" Poe asked, gently. 

She sobbed again as she went to answer. "I was worried what would happen if the First Order found out he had done it. It seemed better for them to think it was me, since I was already a wanted Resistance fighter...I didn't want to put him in any danger," she whispered, mournfully. "It turns out I did that anyway..."

She had learned from Finn that when they had seen the wanted holo put forth by the First Order, they had sent an urgent message to the Falcon. Once they had gone back onto the ship for their journey home, Rey's attention had been split between flying them safely and distracting her bereft daughter from her father's absence. 

That hadn't helped matters at all. The knowledge that she had stupidly allowed Ben to go into hostile territory when she could've prevented it had been the final straw before her breakdown. Then the drugs made everything better for a while, but now the pain was back, sharper and angrier.

"It's my fault!" Rey cried, burying her face in her hands. 

Finn squeezed her shoulder. "Of course it isn't," he offered. Rey looked back up at him, her hazel eyes brimming with agony.

"I practically killed the man I love."

"We don't know that," Poe argued. But Rey had a horrible suspicion that the reason Espé had disappeared was linked to Ben's death. The timing was too coincidental. 

Rey turned to Leia. "Can you feel him?" 

Leia avoided Rey's eyes. "That doesn't necessarily mean --" but the rest of her answer was cut off by Rey's renewed sobs.

"I ruined everything..."

 

 

Wherever he was, it was warm. He felt good, not at all like he had before he'd lost consciousness. The stormtroopers had fired before he'd managed to fully defend himself with the Force, and he had been hit in the shoulder, thigh and side. A matching wound, he thought wryly, thinking of his injury from Chewie's bowcaster.

Once he had unleashed his strength in the hangar, there had been bodies everywhere. In his panic to get away, he couldn't tell if Hux was among the dead stormtroopers. He had managed to drag his severely wounded body into an escape pod. His personal shuttle was too recognizable, he needed something inconspicous to get to Rey. He couldn't risk putting her, his mother or his daughter (or the rest of the Resistance, he begrudingly admitted), into even more danger. 

He'd only just managed to reach out to her when he'd felt the dark but comforting embrace of unconsciousness creep around him. The last thing he remembered seeing was the pool of his own blood gathering around his boots, and then complete blackness. 

But wherever he was, he was comfortable. It was just an abyss, full of swirling shades of blue and green, but it was absolutely stunning, and the pain was gone. For the first time in a long, long time, he felt at ease with his surroundings. He would stay here indefinitely if he could.

But did that mean he was dead? Surely he deserved some place worse than this if he was...

"You're not dead, Daddy!" He turned, startled, towards the tiny voice, to see his daughter standing behind him.

"Espé, what are you doing here? Why aren't you with your mother?"

"I'm here to help you." With that, she placed her little hand into his, which seemed comically large in comparison. "And don't worry, Daddy. I'm still with mommy too...she just can't see me right now..."

Ben's brows furrowed in confusion, but before he could question her further she tugged him, although the gesture made little impact on his body mass. "Come on!" she huffed, "we don't have a lot of time!"

Ben followed his daughter, trusting that she somehow knew where she was going in this strange environment. The texture under his feet felt soft, like grass, and the bluish mist that swirled around them finally settled. Instead of being in some kind of limbo, there seemed to be something substantial to view now. There was a lake, surrounded by trees. The sun was bright, and the glowing orb reflected on the water's surface, It was beautiful, and again Ben marvelled at the feelings of warmth and contentment he had in this place.

There was a group of tiny, furry animals perched on a rock next to the water, and Espé reached out to pat each of their fuzzy heads, giggling as they all moved closer to her.

Ben marvelled at how well his daughter seemed to lure anything tiny and adorable. "I like cute things," Espé said, her face turned up to his.

"So I've noticed." He looked out over the water again. "What are we doing here, Espé?"

"We're waiting," she simply replied. 

"For what?" 

"Not for what, Dad...who!"

"All right, then. Who are we waiting for?"

Before she could further elaborate, a voice rang out behind them.

"Hey, kid."


End file.
